What I didn't know about being a Mom

I didn’t know that my body could throw up so much and still function

I didn’t know that it was possible to have a foot in between my lung and rib cage

I didn’t know that having a baby would be so taxing on my emotional, physical, mental being

I didn't know how cool it was to have my belly look like something out of "Aliens".

I didn’t know that love would develop and grow with time. I didn’t know that it was okay that I didn’t feel like I even knew this new baby in my arms. I didn’t know that love would grow as we came to know one another.

I didn’t know that I could function on that kind of lack of sleep. (Hell Week with the Navy Seals….piece of cake)

I didn’t know how often I would lose my patience

I didn’t know how hard it would be

I didn’t know that those pictures that depict mother and child in a loving embrace, were those rare special moments, not the norm.

I didn’t know that I would give part of my heart to one little boy and he would take it to Heaven with him.

I didn’t know what healing would come from holding another little life in my arms

I didn’t know that missing would never end

I didn’t know that a little smile, hearing the word mama, my first kiss (and subsequent ones after) could utterly melt my heart.

I didn’t know what a joy it could be to work so hard

I didn’t know how fun it was to just watch a 2 year old discover the world.

I didn’t know how fun it was to watch a 1 year old do his best to keep up with his brother.

I didn’t know that spitting was funny. But apparently it is, because my 2 year old and my 1 year old think it’s hilarious.

I didn’t know kids pooped THAT much.

I didn’t know what a fantastic experience it would be to sit with my boys snuggled up on either side to read them a book and sing a song.

I didn’t know that my body would never be my own.

I didn’t know that every time I used the bathroom it would be a public affair

I didn’t know I could worry so much.

I didn’t know that 2 little people could make such a mess.

I didn’t know that I would give up a full night sleep for….who knows how long. Haven’t reached the bottom of this one yet.

I didn’t know what a learning experience being a mom would be.

I didn’t know that I would be a human jungle gym, while cooking dinner.

I didn’t know how OCD I would be about safety and germs

I didn’t know I would fret so much about ruining them for life or being a terrible mother.

I didn’t know how much I could love.

I didn’t know how much I could break

I didn’t know how being a mother would stretch my soul. How it would challenge and reward me all in the same breath. I didn’t know that I didn’t know anything. I didn’t know what kind of person I was, until I eagerly accepted the challenge to be a mother. Now I know…I know that I would do anything required of me to keep my children safe. I know that I love them more than any possession or idea. I know that everything I do, I do hoping that this will shape my boys in to kind, generous, loving, strong, sincere men. (with a hope like that why wouldn’t I fret??). But mostly…… I know that I still don’t know anything. And that like my boys, this list is going to keep growing…….(probably monthly…scratch that, I mean daily!!)